Today it happened. A desperate child called me "mommy." Honestly, it caught me completely off guard. So much so that I couldn't really formulate a response. A few hours later a mother in the village caught me comforting a crying child and said " you should be these children's mother. " At first I was kind of flattered, but after a bit of thinking it actually began to hurt my heart. Why do they need me to be their mommy? In a village like this, with so many people, how is it possible that there is no one to care for and comfort these children? I do not understand and am pretty confident that I never will. Everything inside me wants to be a mommy to these children but I know that now, in this season of life, I can't be. So often I feel like everything in my life changes, but the one thing that never has is that fact that I know that one day there will be lots of little munchkins running around my home calling me mommy. The kind of mommy that means forever and "I will fight for you." The kind of mommy that you run to when you don't understand and most importantly, the kind of mommy that knows she can't ever love you as much as you Heavenly Father does. But for now, the only thing I have the ability to do is to love them and point them towards a Daddy who will never ever EVER leave them. That has to be enough. It's hard for my tender heart to accept that, but I know deep down that my Jesus is enough for them. Even enough to fill the "mommy void" in their hearts. Jesus loves those sweet children more than I ever could dream of loving them, and of that I sure. He will not leave them as orphans.
Today I am especially thankful that I have a mommy who loves me in all the ways that a child needs to be loved- A mommy who taught me to love all those ways- And a mommy who raised me to love those who are unloved. I am blessed beyond measure.
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